DEATH!

I usually write about love and/or relationships but today I am writing about a topic that is so deep to me I had to write about it, you guessed it death.  If you knew the date and time your life would end how would you live your life?  Would material things take on a new meaning and the thought of finding love make you more selective? Or would you feel you need to try everything you can before your time runs out?

Is it just me or does it seem that everywhere you turn someone is dying both young and old.  Just a week ago a 15 year old young man life ended as he was on his way home from school.  The vehicle he was riding overturned and he was ejected and after several days of fighting for his life lost the fight and died.  I can’t stop wondering what his day was like, did he feel any different than any other day or does death really creep into our existence like a “thief in the night”.  What was going thru his mind during the final hours? Did he reach out to love ones by some extraterrestrial method?  I know death is something we all will have to succumb to, so why isn’t the pain easier? One would think it would be easier especially since we know that death is ultimately the final outcome of our physical existence as we know it.

I lost my brother-in-law several years ago and his death still haunts me today. In 2010 I lost my uncle and all I can relate to is devastation. When will the soul become numb to the feeling and eventually allow you to disconnect and move forward with your life?

All I know is, I don’t like the end, I rarely say good-bye, and neither do I want the finale just move on to the new beginning. We can’t protect ourselves against random crime because we don’t know when it may occur, and we can’t save ourselves from the wrath of death because it is our final calling, a call we MUST answer. In the interim all we can do is live life to the fullest because this is all you get. If you haven’t did something you want to do, do it; If you haven’t said something you want to say, say it- because tomorrow may never come.

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Should I stay or Should I go?

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you know was not good for you but for some reason you just could not bring yourself to leave?  This person never has time for you, not interested in your desires, needs or wants, doesn’t have an outlook on life, only want you around when he needs sex, but yet you continue to call him your man.  What’s with that? Why do women stay when they know they should go?

I believe women focus on the best times of the relationship such as the initial meeting when both of you put your best face forward.  You know the times when the man is opening doors, taking you to dinner & a movie, and the sex is spectacular, steamy and hot. Guess what ladies?  You are holding on to {MEMORIES} you just haven’t realized it.  Whenever your intuition tell you to leave, “this man is not worthy of you”, your heart invoke those {MEMORIES} that make you think you are in love.  Maternal instinct kicks in and tenacity coupled with faith leads you to believe any day now things will be just the way you dream they could be.

It’s not your fault that you want to believe in a man, as a little girl females are instinctively conditioned to someday be a wife and/or mother.  As a result of the aforementioned women have the tendency to take care of others and in return seek {“LPP”} a  lover, provider and protector in a man.

But women must learn self-love and separate the {MEMORIES} from reality. True happiness will come when you learn to love yourself and hold out for a man that can love you for you and appreciate your worth.   You must let go of the notion that you NEED a man to be complete, stop coveting his attention; instead require that man to be a lover, protector and provider.  You must insist that the love you give is reciprocated because it is unfair for you to always compromise what you want and need in a relationship. Ladies, you know what I am talking about; those times you have settled and/or lower your standards just to have a man.  I beg you don’t do this anymore because I promise you he will not just settle for you.

I am of the opinion the only way to have a relationship and/or love that can stand the test of times you got to be selective and not afraid to let go of something that is not right for you.  You must step out on faith knowing that the right man is out there waiting for you all to cross each other’s path.  You must carry yourself like a lady but handle the selection process like a business deal. You must not be oblivious to the fact that sometimes the rain will fall and it will even storm sometime but when and if that man is right for you the gates of heaven will open and the sun will shine every time believe me {I truly believe this}.  We can’t make relationships last because we keep picking the wrong person.  And what happens when something is not truly meant for you? You lose it; unexpected problems occur over and over, take heed to the signs.

So the next time you are in a relationship and something just doesn’t “feel” right and that voice in your head tells you to move on. But for some reason you can’t find the courage to let go.  Ask yourself the following questions:  (1) Am I truly happy {remember separate memories from reality}; (2) Does he fulfill my highest good? (3) Do we share similar interest? (4)  Is he abusive mentally, physically or verbally? (5)  What has he done for me lately? (6)  Do I love myself and content being alone until I meet Mr. Right; and (7) Am I settling for him because I am afraid of being alone?

You must answer the aforementioned questions as truthfully as possible, but keep in mind they are only prerequisites to what you should expect or receive from your man and/or relationship.  But one thing for sure your response will let you know SHOULD YOU STAY OR SHOULD YOU GO!

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN & MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!!

Finally!  I have come to the realization that men really are not “wired” like women; unfortunately my revelation was not soon enough to salvage past relationships.  I have often tried to dissect the male’s way of thinking but always come up short as result of my female inheritances.

For instances, the statement “I want to see you” lead one to believe that the person actually wants to “see” you, maybe watch a movie,  talk politics and even play a game of bowling { Wee game of course}.  However, I have learned that’s not the case with {some} men.  If a man say “I want to see you” that can mean a variety of things so you better have a good understanding of what his intentions are, if you do not want to find yourself  in a compromising situation.

What happen to the old saying, “say what you mean and mean what you say”?  Women must learn to understand what a man is” really” trying to say below I will give you a few examples, so read carefully.

I don’t want you to go, but if you must go I respect your decision” –I want to breakup but don’t know how to tell you;

You don’t have to worry, she is not my type” – I can’t wait for you to leave so I can get her number

That’s not what I meant to say” – That’s what he meant to say, just don’t want to hurt your feelings or argue.

“I need space” – He is interested in someone else but want to hold on to you just in case it don’t work out.

Ladies, I am sure you can relate to the aforementioned phrases. Think about it, has a man ever told you “I don’t want to get married” and six (6) months later marry a female he dated only three (3) months.  What he was really trying to say is that he did not have any intentions of marrying you and guess what? He will not marry you.

I know you are saying, “He really likes me, he takes me out often and call me every day”.   I have found that men can be cunning when pursuing what they think they want but once they get the prize, they become complacent and gradually lose interest.  What will it take? How can you understand a person that never really say what he means or mean what he says?  However, ladies I must admit sometime we share the blame in that we only hear what we want to hear.  Yeah, I said it…

It is evident that women are truly confused when pursuing a man? What does he want? Does he really like me? Will this relationship have the opportunity to grow or will it just crash and burn?  These are some of the many questions women of all ages, race and creed are desperately seeking the answer to.

I am of the opinion, that if men would provide insight to what it takes to maintain their interest maybe, just maybe the sanctity of marriage will have true meaning again.  And for non-married couples, the term “committed relationship” would display a guarantee of an exclusive partnership.

I guess by now it is evident that I want to see long-term relationships again; and most importantly I want to see men pursue women for “real relationships” and not just as an object of their “sexual” desire.

Am I wishful thinking?? Is true Love a thing of the past?  What do you think? I want to hear your comments.